Tuesday, 14 July 2009

SG falls down and goes boom - AGAIN. And, a little on my neuroses.

I fall down. A lot.

Yes, sometimes I’ve been drinking when said tumbles occur. We all know about the Broken Wing Incident of 2009.

This weekend I slipped and fell at the pool. Maybe two (or five) SoCo Lime shots and two amazing keg stands had something to do with it. (And, for the record, at the ripe old age of 30, and the whopping weight of about 105 pounds, I outlasted everyone at the party. And … that’s probably not something I should be bragging about.)

But I maintain I would have fallen regardless. It was wet and slippery. That’s what she said.

Anyway, I have a rather large and unattractive abrasion/bruise the shape of the great state of Ohio on my bottom and it’s not going away anytime soon.

I also hit my head. I’m not exactly sure how that one happened. But, I have an egg on the side of my head, and I’m pretty sure I had a mild concussion most of Sunday because I spent the day talking to myself and drifting in and out of sleep where I dreamt about birthing teeth. I wish I were kidding.

Also, I went to the hairstylist on Saturday and she burned my forehead a wee bit while straightening my new thick bangs.

Yesterday I was walking Little B through the grassy area in front of my apartment and it felt like something bit my leg. I looked down and saw that my feet and ankles were covered in tiny ants that were gnawing on me like I gnaw on cheddar when I’m working on my night cheese.

I had to soak my feet in camomile lotion last night, but they’re still covered in weird red bumps. And now they smell funny and have a weird pink tinge.

So, basically, I’m a hot mess.

I see VC on Thursday for the first time in a month. (For those of you who have been e-mailing me for a status report while I take long breaks from blogging – yes things are still really awesome there.) I’m not exactly thrilled about the fact that I look like I’m returning from war (Love is a battlefield. What?)

My sister-in-law says maybe I should wear a helmet when I go out. Martini has maintained that protective gear should be involved whenever I drink – elbow pads, knee pads, the whole deal. I mentioned ice skating to her the other day and she said “No, no, no. You + ice skating = trip to the ER.” Fo sho.

I don’t know how many of you read Chelsea Talks Smack, but if you don’t, you really should. She wrote this great post last week about all our little insecurities and how they can just crash down upon you when you really like someone and you’re trying to put your best foot forward. It’s so true. I’ve been so embarrassed all week that I look like I participated in an Ultimate Fighting Championship match this weekend. I’ve been cursing myself for being such a klutz. But the truth is, clumsy is just part of who I am. I’ve always been clumsy and I always will be (and I have something of a Jim Beam problem …)

Did I tell you all how I pulled a muscle in my foot playing Rock Band and the doc told me I should “wear sneakers for now on”? I can’t help it – a girl has to bounce while she’s shredding to Aqualung.

Yesterday, a really dumb thing happened and I made a huge deal out of it even though it really wasn’t. It had to do with day-long harassment and a suicide threat via Crackhead Ex who has specifically been told about a half a dozen times to not bother me anymore --and a misdirected text response to his ludicrousness. I made that word up.

I seriously let it upset me WAY more than it should have. I was completely neurotic about it for about an hour.

A particularly loony friend of mine (I mean “loony” with much love) said to me today “SG, we just have a little crazy in us. Some people bottle it all up inside and then it just bursts and people say ‘Wow, that chick is crazy!’ We let ours trickle out and then move on.”

I think that’s probably true. Yes, I’m a little clumsy. Yes, I’m a little crazy. But I’m lots and lots of good things. And I am who I am.

What little neurosis do you all wish you could hide away from people? What do you do when the crazy trickles out at the least opportune moments?

P.S. VC suggested that since I’ve been sucking at keeping up with posting lately maybe I should just post my Rock Band scores of the day. I think there’s something to that. So, for the record, I scored 111,800- and something playing Everlong last night and I was pretty proud. And I finally got through Carry On on “hard.” And, I’m a dork


  1. Do we need to wrap you with bubble wrap before letting you out the door? :)

  2. I really, truly hope you saw the picture of my ass from when I fell in the shower.

    And I'm scared of my dating life, so please be glad you have VC, even if he is far away.

    I'm proud of you for outlasting everyone at the party, even if you did fall down.

  3. I KNEW I LIKED YOU! Rockband are you kidding?!?!?!?! Love it.

  4. I have a shirt that has my motto on it. "It's not how you get up, it's how you get down." And you obviously know how to get down girl! :)

    Let me know your plans for the weekend. We should be around and recovering from our vacation.

  5. "...when working on my night cheese." AHAHHAHAHAH! Amazing reference.

    If there's any other person I'd want to be stuck in a loony bin with, it's you. Yes, that's a compliment.

    Lordy I love you!

  6. I demand a Rock Band off.

  7. The crazy trickles out of me the first time a new boyfriend comes over and finds me drinking pickle juice out of the jar watching Terminator 3 and he's all, "Wha....? I thought you were a girl..?"

    Comparatively, to the girls o' the world, you are pretty f'ing sane my dear. And at least your crazy is a fun crazy. Not bald Britney with a bat crazy.

  8. Miss Scorpio - all signs point to yes.

    Shine - thank you! And I did see the picture and read the post and to both I say - just awful! :(

    Court - I knew I liked YOU!!

    Kellie - Nice. I can't wait to see vacay pics!

    A. - could we run in circles and drink jag at 9 a.m., because if so count me in!

    rs27 - I've said OK like 100 times now. When are you going to bring it? Also, I never want to see video of you being spanked again. Ever.

    Martini - um ... that's really crazy. Kidding. And you're right, I'm definitely not Britney crazy and there's something to be said for that.