Monday, 18 May 2009

I'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge.

I don't know what this post's title means, really. I heard it once on a Monster Truck commercial and thought it was funny.

The point is, I’ve lost my edge.

I sat down to write this post pretty much once to twice a day for the last four days but I’ve got nothing.

Ever since I met Virtual Crush I’m big, goofy-grin girl. I sit in my office chair at work and bop my head to songs that no one can hear. I hum to myself all day. I break into smiles at inappropriate times.

I have nothing sarcastic to say. I have no snide comments about dating. I smile at people on the train IN THE MORNING. What is going on???

I know you’ve asked for details, but the details are all sugary and sweet and the kind of stuff that used to make me nauseous before I met him.

If you’ve been following you know that I’ve been communicating with him via uber cool technology like e-mail and the ‘Book for years. So I really knew I would like him before I met him. I just didn’t know if there would be like a “what a cool dude” vibe happening or like a hearts and stars and electricity thing happening. It’s the latter, fo sho.

I spent the weekend before last with him, along with other amazing awesome friends, in Minneapolis, as you may know. We played Rock Band, shared ear buds as we walked in the Race for the Cure (very Lady and the Tramp. I’m the Tramp, for realz. Not that he’s the lady … this analogy went wrong somewhere.) We saw an amazing performance by The Kills (although someone kept throwing beer bottles at the stage … is this is a Minnesota thing? Not cool guys.) We went to a spectacular drag show. We drank a lot of beer. Sigh.

Now, every day I wake up with this intense feeling in my chest that I can only believe is happiness … feels strange. New. Fun. See, I told you, nauseating.

I’m the girl who wants to be all “and then, Virtual Crush said this …” to my friends and I keep stopping myself because I know the pukey feeling I used get and how I used to want to kick even my closest friends hard in the shins for that shiz.

Despite the fact that I have a blog about dating, I haven’t actually dated that much for being 30 years old. Three boyfriends. Ever. One for six years.

My first boyfriend I had nothing in common with. At all. No offense to the born agains out there (although I can’t imagine you like my blog since I like to randomly burst out with things like “balls!”) but he was from a whole family of Bible thumpers who thought women shouldn’t wear pants, or make up or cut there hair. Or speak unless spoken to. Wait, that’s children. No, I think it was women.

I could just hear whispers of Jezebel every time I walked in a room. Or was that this morning at work? Hmm … I don’t even know how we started dating except that I was young and he was cute and we started and then I just never broke up with him. When I finally did two years later I was like “Ahhhhh, finally. I’ll never do that again.”

My second boyfriend I dated for soooo long. We had some things in common. We worked together at a pretty intense job. If you’ve ever dated someone you work with you know it’s easy to do. You know all the same people, you have all the same gripes. But he was majorly outdoorsy and I am not. I walk. To the bar. To breakfast. That’s about it. I don’t hike. I don’t like things that bite or sting or maul. We ended up friends.

My last boyfriend I’ve written about briefly here before. He fooled me. He lied about everything. I thought he was cool, but alas, he was just a lying liar who lies. I’ve worked through that, I swearz.

It’s so cool thinking about starting a relationship (feels weird writing that but we did change our FB statuses, remember? Huge. That’s what she said. Hee hee) with someone who I have things in common with. And who might think I’m a nerd but thinks that’s pretty cool.

I’m happy. That’s all. He’s visiting this weekend, so I’ll let you know how it goes. In the meantime I have to think of something witty and sarcastic to say here. Preferably something that involves the words “sack” or “The Herp.”


  1. I'm a nerd at heart too but I think it's cool to be a nerd! Just look at John Kraznicki or however you spell his weird last name. Hot nerd! :)

    And no, the bottles on stage thing is def not a Minneapolis thing. I've never been to a show where people were doing that. Thankfully b/c that would seriously annoy me. :)

  2. Just make sure you're not always going to visit him. If he doesn't put in at least half the effort, kick him in the balls.

    Also, there was a girl at my field school who thought Freddie Mercury was a hermaphrodite and that's what killed him. He died from the Herm. Also, she was an idiot (didn't see that one coming, did you?). Feel free to share that story, so you don't make people puke with all the lovey dovey love stuff.

    In other news, I had a date this weekend.

  3. I'm just happy that you found happiness in the upper-midwest. See???? It rocks! Thrown beer bottles aside...
    BTW, I had that Lady & the Tramp pic hanging in my bedroom from the age of 5 to about 12.

  4. Kellie - I love Minneapolis. I'll be back there soon (I hope) and we can try again for a blogger's happy hour.

    shine -- I will be sharing that story with EVERYONE. Also, date! I went to the blog. Stellar.

    Frenchie -- Midwest = hearts and stars. I love that you had that pic in your room. I also love that you're commenting now! Welcome.

  5. Awww... I feel warm and gushy all over for you. Wait that was last night... OH! Just kidding. I really am glad for you. Now, don't go changing the name of your blog now to "in a relationship" cuz that would just screw things up ;)

  6. Facebook status makes it real. Congrats!

  7. Gemini -- I know. The blog is singlegrrrl. What to do? Thanks for the ooey gooey sentiments though.

    K -- It seems so silly and yet so significant, right? Funny. And thanks for reading and commenting!