Friday 31 July 2009

This post has heavy lesbian themes





I got in trouble at work today.

I never get in trouble. Ever. For anything. I was that kid in school who went 13 years without detention and who teachers would point to as an example of how the bad kids should be behaving.

I’m a sycophant. People hate me.

It wasn’t like a lot of trouble, but my boss got really annoyed with me and raised her voice and then abruptly hung up the phone. And I just sat there kind of looking at the receiver for a full five minutes thinking “Did I just get in trouble?!” And feeling a little like I could cry.

Nice girls don’t get the corner office. But I did.

I have this really bad habit of shutting down in situations where I think people are mad at me. I usually do the tough kid thing pretty well, but there’s something about feeling like I’ve messed up that really gets to me. It’s all in my DISC profile.

So, I’m going to blog now instead of doing what I should be doing. I know this doesn’t make logical sense. I’m seeing a therapist.

I got a sort of weird amount of feedback from people with questions about my hair – What color is it? Can I see a picture? Etc.

You guys are creepy. Would you also like me to send you locks of it? Send me your address: singlegrrrlsrock@gmail.com

Since I’m at least mostly anonymous still, I didn’t want to post a picture of me. However, the first picture above is of Katie McGrath. That’s the picture I took my stylist when I said I wanted to make the switch.

Katie McGrath is my girl crush (sorry Isla Fisher. I’m fickle.) I’m hooked on Merlin and I honestly think it’s because I’m in love with Morgana. And they manage to work a scene into every episode where she’s tossing and turning in bed with that amazing hair all tussled … getting carried away and making myself and you uncomfortable. Apologies.

Although I was going for the “Katie” everyone so far has told me what I got was the “Katy.” As in Katy Perry. I Kissed A Girl. This blog has heavy lesbian themes. Again, apologies??

My hair is short and I have the whole bangs things happening, so they’re probably right. I’m working on it.

I’m taking the photo of Katie with an “ie” back to the stylist in a few weeks when I ask her to give me really good sex hair for a photo shoot I’m doing in a few weeks. It’s one more thing on the list of things I wanted to do during my 30th year on the planet: take sexy, pin-up-y photos. Check.

I’m a little nervous about it. Most of my girl friends in Phoenix are actresses and models and really comfortable in front of a camera. I’m just not.

I’ve taken film acting classes where I had to be on screen, I’ve been in a movie, I was in journalism where I had to be on camera from time to time. For Pete’s sake I even dated a photojournalist for five years who insisted on taking my picture all of the time – like when I was sleeping or getting out of the shower or had taken a little too big of a bite of enchilada and couldn’t chew with my mouth closed. Still, don’t like it.

But a close girlfriend of mine has all of these great pictures of herself and looking at them one day I thought, I would like something like that of me before I get all old and gross. So, I’m doing it. Wish me luck.

And speaking of luck, looks like I will not be the next Food Network star, as I wrote to all of you about not too long ago. Frowns and dirt kicks. I’ll get ‘em next time. I may start making my own cooking videos and post them on You Tube and go viral and be really, really famous. Move over Barefoot Contessa.

Martini did convince me to make an audition tape for The Amazing Race. I have never seen an episode. AFTER we mailed off our tape she told me a little about what it is they do on The Race, so I’m kind of hoping that doesn’t work out for us. I think I’d be about as good on that show as I would be on So You Think You Can Dance. Keep you posted.

(P.S. where have all my commenter friends gone? I know you’re reading. I have Google Analytics!)

9 comments:

  1. I told MArtini that you guys need a compelling story for the Race,such as you are best friends , but you slept with her husband while she was away on a work vacation and she found your underwear in her drawer. Now she's divorced and trying to salvage your friendship. All on TV.

    Also Katy Perry, yes. The end.

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  2. Fun! I'm resolved to do the pin-up girl photos this year too--just found out about an awesome local photo studio that does only those kinds of photos. I'm stoked!

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  3. Pin up girl photoshoot! So fun! I'm putting that on my list of things to do before I'm 40. :) 10 years to get it done. And the Amazing Race??? Good luck. I think I would suck at that! :)

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  4. rs27 - I thought the better story would be that I actually used to be a man and I was in love with her, but then I had a sex change operation, and now ... she's in love with me, but I don't know it, thus creating all sorts of heavy, lezi tension. That stuffs great for TV, right??

    Plushroom Soup -- SUPER FUN! Can't wait to see them. Picking out my wardrobe is causing heavy stress :)

    Kellie - see above comment by Plushroom Soup - she lives in Minne. I will suck at it too - I'm nervous that it's for that exact reason that I will get picked! I hope they allow drinking.

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  5. Can you please tell Katy Perry that Rose McGowan already did that (all of it)? And she should move on because seriously? She's probably not going to marry Marilyn Manson.

    But I love that haircut.

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  6. Why was your boss angry, and did you actually get into trouble?

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  7. michaeljackson is alive he pranked all of you fans from all round the world if you must know they will be lots of email to mj allround the world by fans and newer people that haVE MYSPACE.COM I HOPE TO SEE MICHAELJACKSON IS WORKING RIGHJT NOW SO PEOPLE POST LETTRES BBEFORRE I DID ITS NOT TOTCOOLL ABOUT THAT SO MJ AS THE LASE SAY MJ HES MAN FRIST OF IN PLACE TO WIN

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  8. DARE MICHAELJACKSON. MY NAME IS DIANNEBOUCAUD I HAVE MYSPACE .COM I WOULD LOVE TO SAY THAT YOU ARE THE FAITHL PPERSON DARE IS IN THE WORLD THAT I PRAY FORE YOU EVERY DAY PRAYING THAT YOU WOULD GET MY EMAILS LETTERS THAT I ASM SEANDING TO YOU RIGHT NOW TO READ AND HOPEING THAT YOU WOULD GET TO THEM IN TIME .I KNOW THAT YOU ARE WORKING HARD ON TOR AND HAVING LOTS OF FUN DONG NICE VIDEOS WITH OTHER PEOPLE RROUND YOU . I UNDERSTAND AND IT TO BECAUSE I KNOW IT HARD WORK MAYBE . I WISH I WAS DARE TO SAY HELLO TO YOU BY WAY. I KNOW THAT YOU DONT KNOW ME BUT ONE THING I A MJ FAN BY WAY I WISH YOU ALL BEST IN WORKING HARD . AND BEING THE BEST FATHER YOU ARE NOW TO YOUR KIDS YOU ARE THE BEST MJ GOODLUCK TO ALL THE YOU DO FORE LOVE BY KEEPING GODS LOVE IN YOUR HEART BY A GRIL NAME DIANNE FROM WASHINGTON DC SHE LOVES MJ WITH ALL HER HEART . AND SHE WANTS MJ TO KEEPBEING HAPPY YOU MAKE THE SUN SET WITH EVERY SWEET PRAY YOU BRING TO WORLD LOVE ALWAYS MJ

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  9. DARE MICHAELJACKSON. THIS IS ONE OF YOUR FANS SPEEKINNG FORE YOU .I AM STILL THE BEST FAN YOU CAN HAVE I AM HARE TO SAY THAT I DONT LIKE WHEN THE PRESS LIES ON YOU . HAVE TO TELL YOUR FAMILY TO BE NARE TO YOU TO HAVE YOUR SIDE . I BELIVE YOU TO MICHAEL JACKSON ON THIS ONE LITTLE CASE I MYSELF WILL HARE WANTS GOING ON WITH THIS SO PAGE OF LIERS ON THE NEWS WANTS PEOPLE TO WATCH CASE LIES TRY TO GET MJS MONEY TO RUN AWAY WITH IT AND LIE TOT GET OVER . I DONT LIKE LIERS THIS CASE SOCKS AND MICHAeljackson is free from all this . people can lie to get money thats how i know wsnts being underground with people that likes to lie one mj be on the safe side with pray watch god will come fore them all this is my pray to all the haters out dare leave michaeljackson alone you will get your payback when gods come you watch and you will see . onne dayn it will happen you better belive mj is want you cant have all ther press has know rightas want so ever . leave mj lone love to michaeljackson family and fans out dare

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