Wednesday 29 April 2009

Patient Zero


Today's been a whirlwind of meetings that have left me kind of cranky. You know that feeling like you've been go go going and accomplished nothing?

So I have just this to say: I am tired of hearing about the swine flu!
If this turns out to be the next bubonic plague, I will eat my words. Although I won’t be able to keep them down because I will be vomiting them and everything else as I die a slow, painful death. But I just don’t think that will happen.

You know what kills the most people around the world? AIDS. Heart disease. These things should cause people to panic, but they don't. I don't see people pulling kids out of schools or locking themselves in their homes or walking down the beach wearing condoms or face masks to keep the sex and cheeseburgers away.

I say we find this kid and kick his little butt for causing all this trouble (kidding. I don't advocate child violence. But we could steal his allowance or his candy or something.)
I mean who tongues a pig --wait! Do NOT answer that.

4 comments:

  1. I've never worn a face mask to keep the sex away, but now that I think about it, it would probably work. Who wants to have sexy time with someone wearing a face mask?

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  2. i agree with you! i'm sick of hearing about the swine flu. if people would be more proactive about aids, etc then it would be a better world to live in...

    to shine: i know of people who like ot have sex with face masks on... they are strange peoples.

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  3. But seriously, where are this kid's parents? I'm gonna guess they thought this was cute and took the picture. I think they'll change their minds when we find the kid and have it arrested for starting the swine flu pandemic.

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  4. Um, that pic is disturbingly cute. Does that make any sense?

    I am w/ you though. So tired of hearing about swine flu. It's just another version of the regular flu (which actually kills thousands of people a month) But you don't see people freaking out about regular good ol flu. This new flu has the word SWINE before it so it must be SO much worse!!!

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